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DAY 15 - JULY 15, 2020

Filling up this wine-hole bit by bit......


I don't know if anyone can relate to the feeling of emptiness when you quit drinking the first few days. I found myself kind of wandering around my kitchen at 5pm or so..... not exactly wanting a drink but not exactly NOT wanting a drink. I felt this physical gap inside of me: A little tiny wine-hole.  Well actually, because I sat and drank from about 5pm on to about 10, it was a gigantic crater in my life. Over the last 2 weeks I realized I didn't need to continue walking around the big gigantic hazard because eventually I was going to fall in. I realized I needed to quit focusing on the hole, and needed to focus on how I should fill it in to avoid me falling in. Filling in this hole is like filling a hole with dirt, one shovel at a time.  A shovel of sober conversation with my daughter, a shovel of a long summer's eve walk, a shovel of making a delicious spaghetti dinner, and don't forget a shovel of tasting it.  Before I realize it, it's been 2 weeks, and my wine-hole is getting covered up.  With life, with love with inner peace. I realize that we all have different types of shovels: Some only have a little garden spade, some have a backhoe. All that matters TODAY is that you keep shoveling. Before you know it, bit by bit, that hole is going to get filled and once that is done, you will be able to plant beautiful flowers that will continue to grow. you will eventually be grateful for that hole as you practice gratitude for all the gifts it gave you as it filled you up.

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