DAY 16, 2020 - DAY 16
Riding in my sober car......See Belle's Blogs here: (https://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/about/)
I downloaded some kind of app, I can't remember where I read about it. It counts my non drinking data by the milli-second.
Assuming I drank 1 bottle of wine every day (and let's be honest, many days I would add a low carb vodka cooler to the fray so I won't start drinking wine too early. For fuck sake), I have now quit for 15.3 days, not consumed 76.6 drinks (they decided there was 5 drinks in a bottle, I say they there were 4, but tomoatoes/tomaaatoes....) I have saved $191.51 dollars and saved 9576 calories. Holy shit that last one is crazy........ So yes, am I down on the scale? Yup a couple pounds. I'm not trying to lose weight per se, but I am trying to keep to the program I was on before - watch my carbs and walk - a lot. I joined a gym recently, but the summers are nice and I just decided to walk and listen to sober audios.
I know my mantra is INAO (it's not an option) but another big tape (who says tape anymore?) going round in my head is THIS time, RIGHT NOW, is about your sobriety, getting well in your head and in your heart. Don't push yourself to do the 'should' things. Just 'be'.
I have said before there are many silver linings for me during this pandemic: I fully and truly believe I would not have had this self-realization at this time. I always knew I needed to look at not drinking 'again'. But, heck, it was summer - who would quit drinking in the summer? Then it would be, well we are planning vacations - who doesn't drink on vacation? Then it would be patios left right and center with friends.... again, I ask you........I would be attending my extra-curricular groups. Not that I drink there, but the HABIT would be to come home and unwind (aka anesthetize) with wine. At 9 at night. Geez.
So why a sober record you ask? The last time I made any attempt to quit drinking was a 30 day experiment in 2017 (thank you This Naked Mind). I started September 1st - and lasted until September 15th when I had a glass of wine when a pet suddenly got sick and we had to put him down. I had a glass, it tasted awful, but it ruined my momentum (insert picture of sober car here haha) During that experiment there was 1 more time a week or so later where I had another half glass of wine. I don't even remember why???? Then the 30 days was over, and I tried to moderate because I was certain I now knew all the triggers. HA. Aaaaand now we are almost 3 years later. right back where I stared from.
So here I am, Day 16, longer without a drink than I can ever remember in my adult years. (ah yes, there was that time when I was 21 when I gave up alcohol for lent - a phase indeed).
Looking back on my journal from 2017, I don't even recognize that person. I am really in such a different place right now. I am so grateful to be in the here and now where I can just sit here, in my virginal sobriety and let it slowly wash over me so that the 2 people Belle refers to, the drinking one and the non-drinking one, can meld into one.
I subscribed to Notes from the Universe that Belle mentioned, and I consider it just one more sober tool added to my tool chest. I don't believe there are any coincidences. My Note from the Universe says this to me today:
You've made no mistakes. The territory behind you and the challenges at hand were precisely crafted to deliver the wisdom and insights that'll make possible the most joyful time of your life, so far.
I believe this to be true. INAO and today I remain, Sober with Gratitude xo