Today is a new day!
My journal entry on day 26 nearing the end of a 30 day challenge
Sept 26, 2017: Fixation vs Liberation (The Alcohol Experiment):
I was TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY fixated on alcohol. What I have appreciated this month is the liberation. It just wasn't an option. In the future, I still see myself having the 'odd' glass of wine. I have been telling myself, much like a parent to a child, if I don't moderate then I can't drink at all, the choice is up to me.. I have been through many different challenges this month, dinner with hubby, a GIRLS TRIP!! death of a pet: Although I did have 1 glass of wine, I was able to leave it at that and move to tea. July 26, 2020 - I very quickly went from tortured moderation right back to an even heavier drinking habit by the end........ IF ONLY I had withstood those early days, I would now be on the 'other side' of drinking - with 2, almost 3 years under my belt. Let me think about drinking during those last 3 years and ask if any days of drinking made my life better than had I stayed not drinking..... (waits 3 seconds)... ABSOLUTELY NOT! Like seriously. I love (not) my 'parent to a child' comment. If I had really been parenting myself properly, I would have said 'don't make the decision about forever today, just make it for today, or at least until you make it until the 31st, that's only a few days away'. Then re-read your oath to Belle (Tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com) and really think about that. But in the meantime (still says parent), here, have a treat, do some blogging, some reading, but whatever you do in this moment, do not drink'. I've been kind of morose the last couple of days, sort of pouting in a way. Today feels better so far. I am going to make a bunch of lasagna - 2 for friends of mine who are sick and one for my family. I have taken much of next week off because apparently summer only hits one week where I live, and next week is it! I might even go for a run today.
I hope this touches even one more person out there......... you are not alone in this journey